Are you shy (Part II)
Please read Part I first... this part won't make a lot
of sense without it :)
Okay... asking someone out. Yikes. If you are like me, this
is the hard part. Yes, it may seem easier online, because
you don't have the butterflies in your stomach (or
not as many). But, you still have the jitters on the first
meeting/ date. I think the reason why is that you may be like
me, and fear rejection. Online is one thing; asking someone
out offline is harder. But you must try. After you have built
up the confidence to have a conversation with them, flirted
a bit, it's time to try asking them out. Just go for it.
When you do, just say something like, "I really enjoy
talking to you. Would you like to have a coffee sometime?"
Coffee, drinks, whatever. That's not the only option.
Just suggest a setting where it's just you and them,
no pressure. If they say yes, you're golden.
If they say no - this can be devastating, but it's not
necessarily a bad thing. If they said no, there may be other
reasons. They may be having a bad day, maybe they are seeing
someone, or yes, they may not want to go out with you. But
you should not let one bad experience sour you on the whole
dating scene. Dust yourself off, thank the person for being
good enough not let you down easy, and move on. Hey, look
at it this way - I'm 29 now and am just learning some of
this. I know people in their 30s and 40s who are learning
this. Don't get caught up like I did and say, "But
all of my friends are dating! What's wrong with me?"
Unless you are seriously psychologically messed up (which
I can't help you with), there is NOTHING wrong with
you. Some people just need more time. Some people can pick
skills up faster than others. I can pick up a language and
learn it pretty damned fast; does that mean there's
something wrong with you if you can't? Hell no! Dating
is a skill, and developing a skill takes time.
Bottom line - get out there and try. If you are shy, it can
be oversome. Go to Google.com, and type in "overcoming
shyness" (with the quotation marks) and read up on
this. Also, keep this in mind... for all the shit I just told
you, I'm still learning a lot of it myself.
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