Corporate Lesson
Corporate Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing
up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds
of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell,
the wife gives up, quickly wraps her self up in a towel and
runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob
says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that
you have on" after thinking for a moment, the woman
drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a
few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused,
but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back
up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back
to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who
was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor, "
she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did
he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining
to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may
be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Corporate Lesson 2
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are
walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They
rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says,
"I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give
each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!"
says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, "Me next!
Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in
Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse,
an Endless supply of pina-colada's and the love of
my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're
up, " the Genie says to the manager. The manager says,
"I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Corporate Lesson 3
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small
rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit
like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered:
"Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared,
jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you
must be sitting very, very high up.
Corporate Lesson 4
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to
be able to get to the top of that tree, " sighed the
turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well,
why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually
gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the
tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached
the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there
he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was
promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but
it won't keep you there.
Corporate Lesson 5
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold
the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While
it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on
it. As the frozen bird lay there miserably in the pile of
cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was
actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy,
and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird
singing and came to investigate. Following the sound,
the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut.
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