Spontaneous Combustion
Spontaneous combustion. Definition: ignition of a substance
resulting from an internal oxidation process.
For some time now I believed that I would spontaneously
combust. My ex- husband told me I would. Or was it that he
said he hoped I would? It doesnt really matter at
this point. If I do, I guess it really doesnt matter
if Im wearing clean underwear!
I have noticed for some time now that men say things that
are totally idiotic. I remember in one instance where a
guy I dated tried to persuade me to believe that he was a child
prodigy. He claimed he was a pianist, touring the world
at the ripe old age of five. I checked on his story, glad Im
not gullible!
Then there are the men who believe that all women are idiots
and cant remember anything. One day I stood in front
of the television to make eye contact with a man to make sure
he was hearing and understanding everything I said. I told
him that the next day we had a meeting to go to after work.
The next day rolled around, he came home and laid down for
a nap. I appeared in the doorway, already showered and dressed.
He asked why I was dressed up. I said that I told him three
weeks prior then again the night before about the meeting.
He laid there and told me that was not possible because he
never heard about it. He said I must have been talking to
myself, or dreaming!
After a few other men pulling this you were dreaming
thing, I decided to carry around a small tape recorder.
Then I could play it back to them and they could hear me explain
things followed by them acknowledging me. It didnt
take long before they would yell at me and tell me to turn
off the tape. If I whipped it out before a conversation,
they would say they wouldnt listen to me unless
I promised I wouldnt record it.
So, do men really think we are that stupid? Or do men just
think that they are so sly that we will believe that we must
have been dreaming? Sly or not, I still make eye contact
and in many instances, I still whip out my tiny tape recorder!
Thank God it hasnt spontaneously combusted!
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