painful and messy anal

i'm 24 years old girl, i really like to have anal sex with
my boyfriend , but we've tried it 2 times before , although
we used so much lubricants and we practice with one finger
and then 2 inside , and after that we do the penetration
, it was so harmful and also messy , i tried alot to clean
my victum before but we leave in a country that there is no
enema bags there , and i don't know how to clean my rectum
,
and after penetraion my anus starts bleeding and i have
pain for several days .
we haven't try anal sex since then and i always scared of
it's pain and being messy .
but i need your help to tell me what should i do to have a good
anal sex , clean and relax.
thanks

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