Cupid Draw Back Your Bow...You Fat Ass
And they wonder why I drink. This Valentine's, instead
of spending it going out to dinner, having a few drinks and
maybe getting lucky, I spent mine in boxer shorts, a wifebeater
shirt and cowboy boots accompanied with a cowboy hat. This
may sound to some of you like everyday wear around the home,
but not neccesarily at a bar. Let me go back two weeks ago.
The radio station I work with decided to have an event called
"The Bitterness Bash." The idea is that not
everyone is hooked up during Valentines and why not offer
a venue where singles can meet, eat, drink and be entertained.
If you're bitter over an old flame, bring their photo
to be burned in our old flame pit or put your boyfriends picture
on the back of a real pig for our "Men are Pigs"
races. Yes, we had live farm animals. But why am I in boxers
and boots at this event? Our promotion department, out
of the kindness of their heart, picked me to play "Country
Cupid" handing out Hershey Kisses and just plainly
making a complete ass of myself. At least I had to accompany
me this fine young thang dressed as "Miss Kitty"
Cupid. Well if you're going to sit around in your boxers
at a bar, (and the stool being cold), you're going
to drink. And so I did. I drank...a lot...So much so they
could have used my big ass red nose for a traffic light. And
I can bet your love hangover was not even a smidgen close
to mine. If hangovers could be compared on the richter scale,
I had a 9.3 the next day. So if you're ever in a bar and
a guy walks up in boxer shorts and boots, well know this...It's
not me...ever again...
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