When I get big, fat, and juicy...
There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around
talking about how their lives sucked.
The cucumber "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat,
and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad."
The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have
it bad? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar,
put spices on me, and stick me in a jar."
The penis looks at him and says, "You think you have
it rough? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber
tarp on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against
the wall until I throw up and pass out!."
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