Mens Feelings.....
I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men
& women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars &
Venus thing.
And I never have figured out why men think with their head
and women with their
heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire
gene gets
thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I
do."
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I
don't feel like it,
I just want you to hold me." I said, "What??"
So she says the words that every husband
on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune
with her emotional needs
as a "Woman." I'm thinking, "What
was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing
is
going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.
The very next day we went shopping at a big department store...
I walked around while she tried on three very expensive
outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. She then
tells me that she wants matching
shoes worth $200 each to which I say OK. And then we go to the
jewellery department
where she gets a set diamond earrings. Let me tell you...
she was so excited. She must have
thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't
think she cared. I think she was
testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because
she doesn't even play tennis. I threw
her for a loop when I told her that it was OK.
She was almost sexually excited from all of this when she
said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the
cash register, " I could hardly contain myself when
I blurted out, " No, honey. I don't feel like
buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her
face ... it went completely blank.
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for a while." And just when she
had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You
must not be in tune with my financial
needs as a Man." I figure that I should be having sex
again sometime during spring 2005.
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