A Song For My Cheating, Lying, Drug Addict of an Ex.
Ladies (and Gents), just a few months back I found myself
coming to this very section of the magazine for ANY answers
that I could find to assure myself that the asshole I was
with for 3 years was going to come back and everything would
be fine...well, believe me, if you broke up, it's for
a VERY GOOD REASON and there's so much more of your life
worth living than wasting it on the equivalent of MAGGOT
CRAP. It's been 3 months already and I'm STILL
finding out about my ex's cheating lies...so, I wrote
a little theraputic song to make me feel better:
The title of the song is "Hee-Haw This, Bitch".
(*sing it to the tune of "Yellow Rose of Texas".
(banjo intro.)
Ohhhh crooked toothed mother-f&$%!#er, I wish that
you were dead,
That someone'd take yer gee-tar, and beat yee in the
head -
You live in WestPennsylvanVirginia in your dirty farmer
shack with your drunken Uncle Father and your mother who's
on crack -
You think that you're a rock star but you suck the donkey
you see when you're trippin off yer balls from all the
weed or LSD.
Yer band is full of stupid little peckers just like you when
they say that "we do drugs and cheat because there's
nothing else to do."
I can't believe it's morning and yer not off huntin'
deer with your retarded cousin Robert and $10 case of beer.
Of all the things I've given you and all the things I've
done, I can't believe you pawned them just to buy another
gun..
You're a silly 'billy bastard (who's going
to have to wear a helmet) from all the coke that you've
sniffed until what little brains you have caved in and broke.
Maybe I'll be lucky and one day your fat mom fuck will
drop her curling iron in the toilet next time she shits a
truck...and it will zap her ass to Venus and she never will
come back, unless it's on a John Deere pulling her fifty
pounds of crack.
To end my loving song and poem, my last little gift, smack
yer hoe and do-see-do yer ass right off a cliff.
I really really hate you and your sickly girlfriend mister,
I hope the slut gets pregnant and then leaves you for your
sister..
Now I know why you were afraid that I would leave you for a
girl, at least she wouldn't have to take a pill for HER
PIECE to rock my world...
It's a shame that you're alive and happy and not
slumped over in a ditch with a sign pointing down at you saying
"Hee-Haw This, You Bitch".
But what goes around comes around and hopefully in your
case, it'll be very white and sticky stuck to yer purdy
face.
Nothing lasts forever, even yer band when you're the
singer..so I'll see you again my love! Most likely
on Jerry Springer!
Ladies, live your lives and FORGET what left you. There's
someone out there that would die for you so stop wasting
precious minutes on someone who doesn't care. TIME
DOES HEAL ALL WOUNDS! I thought I would die without my ex,
but the more I think about it..I'd rather him die without
me.
Take care heart broken angels.
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