incest stories

You might be a Redneck Jedi if.....

You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud
Light.

At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way
out of a speeding ticket or DUI.

If that "Disturbance in the Force" was just
last night's baked beans and spare ribs.

You call Yoda your "Li'l green buddy."

You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

You have ever heard, "Anger... fear...aggression...
Yankees... the dark side are they."

Your father's name is Garth Vader.

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum
skeeters.

You've ever wrecked a landspeeder while trying to
light a cigarette with a lightsaber.

Wookies are offended by your B.O.

More than half the droids you own don't function.

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer
so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come
on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock
thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy
Duke shorts.

You've ever used the force in conjunction with fishing
or bowling.

You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have
to get in through the window.

You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with
redwood deck.

If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father. . . and your
uncle."